Love Him Back Page 7

  I blinked up at him. “Zane, I’ve been trying to forget about you, but I can’t. I’ve heard the rumors, but I’ve tried not to give them much merit. I’m so conflicted right now. I don’t understand what’s going on.”

  He glided his thumb across my jawline, his eyes suddenly tender. “That makes two of us. But maybe we aren’t supposed to understand it. I mean, I don’t do relationships. I can’t. Maybe we need to go with it, be friends, and see what happens. Friends first, right?” he said, his voice full of hope as he brought my lips to his again.

  I broke the kiss. “I don’t think friends kiss like this,” I said breathlessly.

  He gave me a sexy grin, and I knew I was done for. “We do.”

  “CHESNEY! WHERE WERE YOU LAST night?” Emberly asked, barging into my room at the crack of dawn with coffee.

  “Knock much?” I groaned as I rolled over in bed and pulled the covers over my head.

  “Lock your door much?” she responded and continued to lecture me on how unsafe it was to leave my door unlocked, which I hadn’t realized I had done.

  I yawned. “What are you doing here so early?”

  She pulled the covers off my head and reached over to turn my alarm clock, so I could see it. “Honey, it’s ten-thirty. That’s not early.”

  I thought it was much earlier than that. I didn’t even remember going to bed last night. I was in such a daze when I came home. Thank goodness I didn’t have to be at work, or I’d really be in trouble.

  Emberly reached up and opened the curtain to let the eyeball-searing sunlight fill the room.

  “Okay, okay, I’m up,” I growled. “Sheesh woman, you’re the devil.”

  She gave me a sweet smile. “Would the devil bring you coffee?”

  “I guess not.” I sat up in bed and took the tasty caramel latte out of her hand. The sweet smell made my mouth water.

  She raised an eyebrow. “You look like hell.”

  “Thanks, you really know how to make a girl feel good about herself,” I chuckled.

  “So, really, what happened? I saw you dancing with Zane last night. It was really dark in there, but I could still see the atomic attraction between you two.” She grinned like she had the biggest scoop on the base. “It was hot on that dance floor, and I’m not talking about the temperature. I want details, woman, and don’t leave anything out.”

  “Ughhh, I really don’t wanna talk about it.” I wasn’t ready to share. I still hadn’t told her what had happened on the camping trip. Luckily, no one had woken up to see us sneaking back to our tents after our secret rendezvous.

  Without warning, I started to spill, “I don’t know what happened really. I couldn’t be more confused. I don’t know if I’m drawn to him because I like him…or because I’m lonely. If I was an outsider looking in, I’d think our entire situation was crazy.” I took a breath. “I mean, I don’t even know who this man truly is or anything about him. I don’t know what his favorite color is, what his favorite food is, or anything else…” I gave Emberly a true look of horror. “What if he’s a serial killer or something? This is all crazy, right?”

  Emberly stared at me, stunned. “First of all, I highly doubt he’s a serial killer. You watch too many slasher movies. Second, I thought you didn’t wanna talk about it? And third, his favorite color? Really? What are you, twelve?” she laughed.

  “Oh stop it!” I swatted at her, but she dodged it. “You know what I mean. Seriously, I don’t know what’s happening to me. When I was on his bed in his tent, he even told me he liked being in control, and I’m pretty sure he was talking about his sex life. He said he likes it rough.” It took me a second before I realized I’d told her more than I should have.

  “Wait a minute.” She frowned at me. “What do you mean ‘on his bed in his tent’? He likes it rough? What the hell happened on that camping trip? And I slept through it?” Emberly squirmed, anxious to hear more.

  “I didn’t mention it, before?” I said, playing dumb. I stood up, walked over to my mini-fridge, and grabbed an apple.

  She replied, “Ummm, no, I’d remember something like that. It’s okay; I won’t pry since you obviously don’t want to talk about it, but I expect details later.” She looked at me pointedly. “I will say this, though, I may not be the best person to give relationship advice since I really suck at relationships, but you shouldn’t worry so much about the small stuff. You should live in the moment. If you want Zane and he wants you, then I think you should go for it.”

  I took a bite of my juicy red apple and sat back down on the bed across from her.

  She continued, “Who cares how long you’ve known the guy? My sister dated her boyfriend for three weeks before getting married, and they’re going on ten years of marriage. You’re both adults. Go out and get to know each other and see where life takes you. You worry too much about what other people think. Screw everybody else.” Her cheery grin was encouraging.

  And she was right. I was a grown woman perfectly capable of making my own decisions.

  I started to nod thoughtfully. “You’re right. I guess I need to put on my big girl panties and go for it.” A small smile made its way up my face as I began to accept this. “Thank you, doll face! I can tell I’m going to love you already!” I lunged across the bed, giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

  She grimaced. “Gross. If you’re going to kiss me, can you at least brush your teeth first? I don’t do morning breath.”

  I picked up a nearby pillow and threw it at her. “Rude!” I laughed as I jumped off the bed and went to freshen up.

  “Oh! By the way!” she called from my bed. “Wear something cute. We’re going down to the park to watch the guys play basketball. You know, some eye candy.”

  “Good grief, Emberly,” I hollered back. “You always know where to find some eye candy.”

  She cracked up. “Honey, we’re on a military base. This place is filled with eye candy. Come on now. Hurry up!”

  I quickly showered and threw on my favorite pair of jean shorts and my Tar Heels t-shirt. Emberly complained the entire time I was getting ready that I was making her late.

  “Hush now, I’m going as fast as I can,” I said.

  Maybe some eye candy would help clear my head. Then again, if Zane was there, there would be no hopes of that.

  We headed to the park, not far from the dorms, and I noticed Erik over by a swarm of hot guys getting ready to form teams. Once he noticed me, he motioned for us to come over by him.

  The bright sun wasn’t helping my hangover any. I was thankful for my dark sunglasses because my head was pounding.

  “You want to play with us, Ches?” Erik asked with his cute boyish grin. He batted his eyelashes at me. “Pretty pleeeease?”

  “No thanks,” I chuckled. “Em and I are only here to watch. Somebody has to keep her from drooling all over her new top.”

  Emberly elbowed me in the side. “Hey now, watch yourself.”

  Everyone laughed, though, because they knew it was true. In the short time we’d all known Emberly, we knew she tended to crush on everyone.

  Laughing made my head hurt. I pressed on my temples with my fingers to try to lessen the pounding.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Erik asked.

  “Oh, she’s nursing a hangover,” Emberly said, answering for me.

  I groaned. “I’m never drinking again.”

  “Yeah, we all say that. Every time.” Erik laughed. “Okay, Ches, you get a pass from playing, I guess.”

  He turned to Emberly and asked if she wanted to play. “Come on, Em, you know you wanna play with me,” he joked, nudging her and giving her his ubiquitous wink.

  “Oh honey, please. The only time I get sweaty is during mandatory PT…or in the bedroom,” she replied, returning the wink.

  “Emberly!” I scolded as we all burst into another bout of laughter.

  Physical Training, or PT, was also something Emberly wasn’t that happy about. She complained about everything from shin spli
nts to the sweat in her eyes. You’d think the military would toughen a girl up, but she continued to defy the odds.

  Emberly and I walked to the bleachers to join Aria and Ashley.

  “So, no girls in this game, either?” Aria laughed, tossing her wavy, long blond hair over her shoulder.

  “I guess not,” I snickered.

  Aria leaned in, arching her eyebrows. “Okay, now, Chesney. What’s the story with you and Sergeant McSteamy McHotStuff Thomas? Don’t hold back.”

  I tried to keep a straight face. Nothing could be kept secret on a military base. Eventually, everyone would know my business. “There’s nothing to tell. We danced. We had a good time. I went back to my room and went to bed.” I tried not to blush as I recalled Zane pushing me up against the wall outside the club.

  It was hard work trying to keep my private life private. Rumors spread like wildfire on every base, and although the girls seemed really nice, I hadn’t learned who I could fully trust, yet.

  “Okay, I see.” Aria played coy. “That’s fine, if you don’t want to talk about it. No woman has ever left anywhere with Zane, though, and said nothing happened. That man is trouble with a capital T. Have fun, but don’t get attached.” She shook her head and sighed. “The second Zane senses a girl getting attached or falling for him, he never sees her again.”

  With all the girls’ attention on us, she leaned in and whispered conspiratorially to the group. “His ex-fiancée supposedly really did a number on him. She got pregnant with his best friend’s baby while he was deployed. Before that, he was ready to marry her.” She nodded, an air of drama to her face. “Ever since then, people say he’s never been the same. He hooks up with girls and won’t even let them sleep in his bed.”

  A few of the girls made faces, but I understood.

  So that’s why he’s such an ass.

  I couldn’t really blame him. What that girl did to him was harsh.

  A commotion drew our attention from the bleachers to the basketball court. I welcomed the distraction. Well…maybe not this distraction.

  “Staff Sergeant! Glad you could join us, man,” I heard one of the guys yell.

  The group went over to shake hands and give fist bumps to none other than Zane Thomas. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop staring. He was sex on legs, wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a gray t-shirt tucked slightly in the front.

  My cheeks flooded with warmth.

  “I knew it!” Aria exclaimed, seeming proud of herself. “Something did happen between you and Zane. I can tell by the way you’re looking at him. Your body is naturally responding to him, whether you know it or not.” She laughed. “Your whoremones give it away!”

  Ashley rolled her eyes. “I really wish you’d stop using that stupid word. It’s not even a real word. Plus, Chesney isn’t a real whore, so your version of hormones doesn’t apply to her.” She glanced at me. “Ignore her, Ches.”

  I shook my head and turned my attention to the game. Yes, something did happen between us, and I planned on keeping it that way for now, between us. It was nobody else’s business.

  Once they’d been playing for a while, Zane and a few others ripped off their shirts and threw them on a nearby bench. Sweat was glistening on Zane’s sun-kissed skin, and I couldn’t help but sigh.

  “Well now. Who needs to keep whom from drooling all over themselves?” Emberly laughed, nudging my shoulder, and smiling ear to ear. “It looks like you’re enjoying some eye candy as well. You’re welcome,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  “Oh hush.” I nudged her back. “So what. The man is gorgeous. There’s no hiding that, and I never denied I thought he was attractive.”

  Zane’s shoes pounded on the pavement as he ran down the court. As he ran, I caught myself checking out his calves. They were so muscular and perfect. I started to wonder how it would feel to have his legs between mine…in bed. I scolded myself, again, for even thinking about it.

  What is wrong with me?

  Was I seriously checking out a man’s calves? How embarrassing. But I couldn’t find one thing about him, physically, that I did not appreciate. He was like a fine piece of artwork that I couldn’t stop staring at.

  When Zane scored a three-pointer everyone cheered, except for the opposing team, of course. I was so lost in the moment, I may have cheered just a little too long. He looked up into the bleachers and spotted me sitting there, giving me an atta’ girl smirk then continued down the court.

  I buried my face in my hands.

  “Good one, Chesney. Way to get his attention,” Ashley said with a giggle.

  “Ugh. Don’t remind me. I can’t believe I was so lost in the moment that I didn’t realize everyone else had stopped cheering and clapping. What is wrong with me?”

  “…you got it bad,” Emberly started singing.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Are you seriously singing Usher right now to describe my love life?”

  “Well, if the song fits,” she laughed. “You’re both adults. I don’t understand why you won’t just give in and go out already.”

  “Because…” I stopped. The truth was, I didn’t really have an answer. Or maybe I did—just one I wasn’t willing to share.

  She continued, “If he’s into you, I say go for it. It isn’t like you have to get married tomorrow. Life’s too short to sit back and wonder what might have been. Besides, who could say no to that?” she said dreamily as we all turned and looked at him.

  I was starting to realize why Emberly had the reputation she did. And as I looked out over the court, all I could think about was how I didn’t want to be that girl.

  I had learned the hard way that people talk. Apparently, if you hang around a man in the military, you’re automatically sleeping with him. Well, if Zane wanted another notch on the bedpost, he was looking at the wrong woman.

  When the game ended, we went down courtside where the men were standing around talking and hydrating.

  “You guys cheated! I want a rematch!” Smith chimed up, making everyone laugh.

  Zane slapped him on the back. “You’re just pissed because you suck. It isn’t our fault you scored for the wrong team.”

  “Screw you guys. That never happened,” Smith scowled. Then he grabbed his things and huffed back toward his dorm.

  “Hey guys, good game,” I said, walking up between Erik and Zane.

  Zane turned toward me, and I almost fainted at the sight of sweat dripping down his still bare chest. If there were ever a time that I wouldn’t mind a sweaty guy throwing his arms around me, this would be it.

  “Thanks,” Zane said, toweling off. “I’m starting to think you’re stalking me, Airman Ward.” He gave me the sexiest grin. “I’d give you a hug, but I really need a shower,” he said, picking up his bottle of water, chugging most of it and pouring the rest over his head. I licked my lips as I watched the water run down his face and chest.

  “Come here, Em, give me a hug,” Erik said, throwing his sweaty arms around Emberly’s neck. Erik was definitely the goofball of the group. He always made us laugh, no matter the situation.

  “Ewww, Oh My God, Erik! Gross!” she said, pushing him away.

  “Oh come on! At least Ches here will give me a hug. Right?” He sauntered up and put his sweaty arms around my neck, resting his chin on the top of my head.

  I chuckled and grimaced at the same time. “Sure, but there’s a two second rule. Don’t linger.”

  Zane looked at us and seemed to be intrigued.

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I said to Erik as I peeled his sweaty arms off me. I barely contained a gag.

  As we all headed back to the parking lot, I may or may not have purposely lagged a little further behind to stay alongside Zane.

  “Are you sure you and Tate aren’t together?” Zane spoke up, nodding toward Erik, as he put his things back into his gym bag.

  “Erik?” I made a face. “Are you kidding me? I told you, he’s my best friend,” I responded, confused as to why he c
ared anyway.

  “What about you? Do you have a lady in your life?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

  “I told you, I don’t do relationships,” was all he said.

  Oh that’s right, he just screws them and leaves.

  “So about last night…” I started shyly, tracing a line in the gravel drive with the toe of my shoe.

  “Yeah, Chesney, about that,” he said, sounding concerned. “I’m sorry if I came on too strong.”

  Not the response I was hoping for exactly, but I decided to play along and keep my feelings to myself.

  “It’s okay,” I said casually as we headed toward his truck. We were almost there when I finally got up the nerve to share, “It’s just…I’m still a little sensitive about my wrists being bound like that. My ex did some nasty things to me, that’s all. It wasn’t your fault.”

  He gave me a sideways glance. “Your ex sounds like an asshole. But that’s not me, Chesney. I’d never hurt a woman like that.”

  I gulped and nodded. I was sure he wouldn’t, too. “He was definitely not a good person.” And I was free of him—forever.

  Zane’s truck was a large Dodge. It was a nice and shiny blue color, reminding me of his eyes, only not as bright.

  He started to open his door to get in but stopped and turned to face me. “You want a ride back to your dorm?”

  “Yeah. Sure,” I replied a little too quickly. Who cared that my dorm was a short walk away. Any excuse to spend more time with Zane was fine by me.

  Erik, Emberly and a few others were all walking back to the dorms together. Some of the group lived off base, though, and after saying their goodbyes, they got into their cars and left.

  “You coming, Chesney?” Erik shouted from the sidewalk.

  “No thanks, you guys go ahead. Zane is going to drive me home.”

  “Be cautious!” Erik yelled, pointing and winking at me, which I took as his approval. That was something he often said to me—cautious, not careful—since the day we’d first met in boot camp. It was sweet he worried about me.